Everyone loves CLOSE UP PHOTOS OF FOOD!!!!!!!11!!

I've been ruminating for a long time over this blog. It's had a bit of an identity crisis. My original intent was to blog about prepackaged foods in a humorous way. However, I feel like Michelle Obama has really cast a pall over making fun of obesity and the things that make us obese. Santa was a jolly old fellow until the South Beach Diet. Plus, how funny are Pizza Rolls, really? "Not very," says this observer "And furthermore", says I, "the This Is Why You're Fat blog does a better job of covering this area, anyway".

My next idea was to combine the things I love into a super-blog about nothing. It would have aspired to Seinfeldian nothingness (something about nothing that covers everything). But, that's when I hit my second roadblock. A super-blog just sounds tiring. Even if it's about nothing and especially about everything. Ugh, I got tired just writing that sentence.

So, I figure I'll just ramble about things (mostly food-related) that hold my attention long enough to write a blog po...

As a purveyor of fine foods (my customer base is veryexclusive), it is a requirement that I take incredibly close up pictures of the meals that I make so that you, the viewer, can truly grasp the magnificence of the various canned beans, frozen vegetables, Kroger-brand spices and other "not-quite-right-off-the-produce-cart" ingredients that I mix together.   A few nights ago I decided to experiment with Quinoa.  

Quinoa, for those of you who don't know, is a grain that's not a grain.  It has magical powers, which is how it can be a "grain that's not a grain."  Science calls it a pseudo cereal (Note: Science may not actually call it that.  Wikipedia, a common mouthpiece for internet scientists and scientists on the internet, does classify it as such).  It's not magical enough to have a lot of flavor on its own, which is weird because Gandalf probably has enough magic on his own to be imbued with other traits.  So I combined the Quinoa with corn, cumin, onions, and fresh cilantro to make a pretty amazing dish.

Without further adieu, HERE IS A MACRO PICTURE OF WHAT I ATE A FEW NIGHTS AGO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!1

Magic Quinoa with more common black beans

Did you know...

A picture of what ground hamburger meat might look like

Today I learned from my boss that it is indeed possible to brown hamburger meat in the microwave.  The consensus, generally, was that, while saving precious seconds on Taco Night ©, this method produces a meat that has a somewhat rubbery texture.  Tragic.